Example of NLP Coaching Session
Example of NLP Coaching session demonstrating how to elicit present state and desired state
NLP Process for change was developed keeping in mind, that if the outcome / goal that a person wants to work towards is developed in such a manner, where the person is in total congruence with the outcome, then the chances of achieving that goal / outcome is more.
During the start of an NLP Coaching session as an NLP Coach you can elicit the desired state (where the person wants to reach) and the present state (where the person is currently). NLP was created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in 1970s, and NLP due to its powerful language patterns and interrupts found its way into Leadership Development, NLP Coaching, Life Coaching, Sports Peak Performance Coaching etc.
Questions to Elicit Desired States:
1.Stated in Positive (Linguistically language towards the Outcome):
- What do you want, specifically?
- When, where, with whom do you want the outcome?
2. Initiated and maintained by the Person who desires the goal (Actions are in control of the doer):
- What are the steps that are in your control that you can take towards this goal?
- What resources do you have to accomplish this, and are they within your control?
3. Sensory based evidence (Evidence frame) – Evidence referenced in Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic language:
- How will you know when you will have (the outcome / goal) it?
- What will you see, hear, and feel when you will get it?
4. Ecology check (Impact of the outcome / process of working towards it, on person’s environment)
- How will this affect your life? Family? Business? Job? Anything else?
- What will be different as a result of having this?
- Are you willing to pay the price – effort that is required to achieve the goal?
5. Cartesian questions (Optional questions – Bringing clarity with respect to the outcome)
- What will happen if you get it?
- What will happen if you won’t get it?
- What won’t happen if you get it?
- What won’t happen if you won’t get it?
6. Fit together
- Is the outcome / goal in sync with who you are as a person?
Questions to Elicit Present State (Problem / Outcome)
1.What is the problem, specifically?
2. How do you know that it is a problem?
3. How do you know how to have it?
4. How do you know when to have it?
5. How do you know with whom to have it?
6. How do you know where to have it?
7. What stops you from changing the problem?
8. Where are you currently with respect to this outcome / goal?
Example of NLP Coaching Session demonstrating how to elicit present state and desired state:
Coach: Good morning, so what are we going to work on today? What is the goal or issue that you want to work on?
Client: I am unable to get a break through in my business, the sales are not happening the way I want them, I am not confident during sales meetings?
Coach: Can you be more precise?
Client: I want to be confident during the sales meetings, and also want to ensure that my sales revenue increases by 30% by year end
Coach: So what is the result that you are looking from this particular session?
Client: I want to find out ways how to be confident during sales meetings, and also find out ways to make sure that the actions that I am taking are going to ensure that I am moving towards 30% sales increase by year end.
Elicitation of Present State
Coach: So what is the problem, specifically?
Client: Hmm, well I guess I believe that I am not good in sales, and also I have not been good in sales before in my previous jobs, hence this impacts my thought process during meetings? Also, not sure whether I have upgraded my skills to be good with latest sales techniques.
Coach: If you did not do well in previous jobs in sales, does not mean that you cannot perform well in Sales now (Generalization has been pointed). That was a different scene and now this is a different scene. How do you know that it is a problem?
Client: Hmm, (there is a pause) client thinks about the generalization. Well, like I said this belief hampers my progress, and also slows my business down.
Coach: How do you know how to have this problem?
Client: No sure, it just kicks in.
Coach: How do you know when to have it?
Client: The moment I enter into a Sales meeting with any client it happens.
Coach: How do you know with whom to have it?
Client: With all clients it happens.
Coach: How do you know where to have it?
Client: I don’t know. It is a feeling that comes up during meetings.
Coach: What stops you from changing this problem?
Client: This belief of mine that I am not good stops me, and for sales, the fact that I am not using latest sales techniques stops me.
Elicitation of Desired State
Coach: What do you want specifically? When, where and with whom do you want this?
Client: I want to be super confident in all client meetings, and want to ensure that I am on track – 30% growth in sales by year end.
Coach: What are the steps that are in your control towards this goal?
Client: I can learn how to be confident in all client meetings, I want to ensure that I put a plan in place to learn new Sales techniques so that I can put myself on track towards getting 30% growth in sales by year end.
Coach: What are some of the resources that you have towards this goal?
Client: I have been confident earlier in different meetings which didn’t involve sales, hence, I think I can replicate that in Sales meetings as well. I have the determination and passion to work on developing and learning new Sales models and techniques.
Coach: What are some of the external resources that you can leverage towards this goal?
Client: I can take help from few mentors, and check what makes them super confident during Sales presentations, and attend a training program to get an idea about latest Sales techniques.
Coach: How will you know when you will have it? What will you see, hear, feel when you will get it?
Client: I will be consistently delivering Sales pitch confidently, and see myself moving towards my 30% revenue growth. I will hear positive response from my prospective clients, and feel absolutely content with my Sales delivery after the presentation and that feeling of accomplishment by looking at the Sales revenue growth numbers in my Sales tracker.
Coach: How will this affect your life? Family? Business? Job? Anything else?
Client: If I am able to delivery sales presentation confidently, it will make a big impact on my sales numbers and also help towards financial stability.
Coach: What will be different as a result of having this?
Client: Life will be peaceful to see Sales revenue grow, and I can be more relaxed if I see myself moving towards this number.
Coach: Are you willing to pay the price to make this happen?
Client: Yes, I am absolutely determined to make this happen. If this involves taking up a course on weekends to learn Sales techniques and the skills by networking with top Sales guys, I am willing to do that. Even though there will be an impact on family life, I will make sure that I spend more time with my family on weekdays, so that weekends can be leveraged towards this.
Coach: Is the outcome / goal in sync with who you are as a person?
Client: Yes, I feel this is absolutely must at the moment, and if I have to make my sales grow, I need to be confident during sales meetings, and yes this is totally what I am looking forward for, and will do anything to make this happen.
This is an example of NLP Coaching Session, which shows how to elicit the present state, and how to elicit the desired state. This will bring clarity to the coach and to the client in terms of where the client is at the moment, and also regarding the outcome that the client wants to achieve.
After this NLP Coach can use different NLP techniques (Anchoring for Confidence, NLP Belief Change Process, Meta Model free flowing questioning, Timeline Coaching etc) to explore further actions that the person can take) to conclude the NLP Coaching session.