NLP Meta Model Examples

NLP Meta Model Examples

The aim of the NLP Meta Model questions is to ask questions to recover details that have been filtered out of people’s conscious awareness.  (Please note: this article presumes that you have a basic understanding of the NLP Meta Model and NLP Communication Model. If not, read about them here.  NLP Meta Model examples are being provided in the section below.  NLP Meta Model usage is described as one of the important criteria to be recognized as the Best NLP Trainer in India or globally.

NLP Meta model recovers the deletions, distortions, and generalizations from the speaker’s language. It is loosely categorized as mentioned below:

Simple Deletions

When information is either missing or insufficient in communication, and thus part of the meaning is left out or lost, it is the case of simple deletion.

Below are some sample examples of simple deletion in everyday communication, and the Meta Model responses to them:

Statement	Meta Model Response
I am depressed	How do you know you are depressed?
I am perfect	How do you know that you are perfect?
I am anxious	How do you know you are anxious?
I will be happy	How do you know that you will be happy?
They won’t understand!	How do you know that they won’t understand?

Missing Nouns

When a sentence fails to indicate the specific person or thing, it is the case of Missing Nouns.

When you don’t know who or what is specifically being talked about, it is also known as an unspecified referential index.

Below are some examples with NLP Meta Model responses:

Statement	Meta Model Response
We will keep your documents ready.	Which documents in particular? Who specifically will keep my documents ready?
It’s expensive.	What, in particular?
Meetings are a waste of time.	Which meetings, exactly?
People are selfish.	Who specifically?
Politicians are corrupt.	Who, in particular?

Missing Verbs

When the process word in a statement fails to state what actually happened, it is the case of Missing Verbs.

Below mentioned examples will help you understand how to recover the omitted information about what exactly happened or what someone did specifically:

Statement	Meta Model Response
She rejected me.	How exactly did she reject you? What specifically did she do?
He’s running the department badly	How exactly is he running the department badly? What specifically is he doing, or not doing?
This company is going places.	What specifically is happening at the company? Places, in what way?
At least he tries.	In what way? How specifically does he try?
They get on really well	In what way specifically?

Nominalizations

When statements involve the use of abstract nouns (words denoting an idea, quality, state, etc which physical senses cannot see, smell, taste, hear, or touch), no concrete message is communicated because the abstract word does not mean the same thing to different people.

Below mentioned examples list such statements and Meta Model approaches of overcoming ambiguity by uncovering the underlying process:

Statement	Meta Model Response
There is frustration in the room	Who is frustrating whom?
I want recognition	How do you want to be recognized?
We have made our decision	How specifically have you gone about deciding?
I want a choice	What exactly do you want to choose?

Comparative Deletions

When comparison does not specify the greater or lesser value with which the comparison is being made, it is the case of Comparative Deletion.

Below mentioned examples point up such statements and Meta Model responses to recover missing information:

Statement	Meta Model Response
Our new product is more effective	More effective than what?
You look happier	Happier than whom?
This is more complicated	More complicated than what, precisely?
He’s more tolerant	More tolerant than whom?
Hard beds are better	Better than what, exactly?

Mind Reading

When you state someone else’s thoughts or predict future events without having any substantial sensory based information to support your idea, you are mind reading.

Below listed examples will give you an idea about the interesting variety of mind reads one can hold:

Statement	Meta Model Response
You don’t love me	How do you know that I don’t love you?
This will not work for you	How do you know that this will not work?
My boss thinks I’m lazy	How do you know that your boss thinks you are lazy?
I know they will understand that I am busy	How do you know that they will understand that you are busy?
The boss is in a foul mood today	How do you know that the boss is in a foul mood today?

Lost Performative

When belief or value judgment is stated as a fact without specifying who judged of it as good or bad, right or wrong, then it is the case of Lost Performative Distortion.

Below listed examples illustrate Meta Model Responses for getting to the underpinnings of the beliefs:

Statement	Meta Model Response
People are flexible these days	According to whom?
Women who drink alcohol are audacious	Who says so? According to whom?
WhatsApp is a waste of time.	According to whom?
Marriages are made in heaven.	According to whom?
People are selfish	Who says so? According to whom?

Cause and Effect

As the name suggests, when A causes B, or B is caused by A is stated with no substantial factual evidence, it is the case of Cause and Effect Distortion.

Below mentioned examples highlight the Meta Model Responses to learn how people make themselves think, feel and act in a particular way and how you can direct them to take responsibility for their state of mind:

Statement	Meta Model Response
When they stare, my presentation suffers	How exactly does someone’s stare cause your presentation to suffer?
Because of his comments, I quit my job.	How exactly did his comments cause you to quit your job?
He’ll be upset if I disturb him	How specifically will he be upset if you disturb him?
If I do that I’ll get into trouble.	How exactly will you get into trouble if you do that?
If someone shouts at anyone, I freeze.	How specifically does someone shouting at anyone cause you to freeze?

Complex equivalence

When two separate thoughts, ideas or events are stated in the way that A means B, it is the case of Complex Equivalence Distortion.

Below mentioned examples draw attention to the Meta Model Responses to determine how the person has attributed meaning to an event:

Statement	Meta Model Response
He’s silent. He doesn’t like what I’ve done	How do you know that his silence means he doesn’t like what you’ve done?
When you talk like that I know you don’t mean it	How do you know that my talking like that means I don’t mean it?
He doesn’t speak to me means he doesn’t care about me	How do you know that his not speaking means he does not care about you?
She is pretending of being busy. She doesn’t like me.	How do you know that her pretending being busy means that she doesn’t like you?
I saw them down the pub together; they must be having an affair	How do you know that being in the pub together means that they must be having an affair?

Presuppositions

When a hidden condition or element is presumed in order to make sense of statements, it is the case of Presuppositions.

Below are some such statements and the Meta Model Responses to avoid validating presumptions:

Statement	Meta Model Response
What are we going to do next?	How do you know we’re doing something next?
It will be easier when he leaves	What makes you think he will leave?
I’m just waiting for a bus	What makes you think that a bus will come?
You’ll enjoy it once you do it	How do you know that I will do it? How exactly do you know that I will enjoy once I do it?
Once you make a start you’ll find it easy	How do you know I will make a start? What specifically makes you think I will find it easy?

Universal Quantifiers

A statement which involves words like – all, always, every, never, everyone, no one, nobody, none, etc to pronounce that something is true or false for everything, is the case of Universal Quantifiers.

Below examples highlight such statements and Meta Model responses to recover accurate information:

Statement	Meta Model Response
This happens every day	Everyday?
He never understands me	Never?
He is always late	Always?
Nobody has time these days	Nobody?
Everybody will talk about it	Everybody?

Modal Operators

When the mental state is translated into words and expressed in the statement, it is the case of Modal Operators.

Use of words like should, should not, must, must not, have to, need to, etc notify that the person is acting out of necessity, whereas use of words like can, cannot, will, will not, would, may, may not, etc notify that the person is acting out of possibility.

Below are some such statements and the Meta Model Responses to pick information about a person’s typical mode of operating in the world:

Statement	Meta Model Response
I can’t tell the truth	What is stopping you? How do you stop yourself?
I must not do that	What will happen if you do? What will happen if you didn’t do? What won’t happen if you do? What won’t happen if you don’t do?
I need a change	What’s stopping you?
Kids should not use tablets	What will happen if they do? What will happen if they didn’t do? What won’t happen if they do? What won’t happen if they don’t do?
To stay in this job I have to work harder	What will happen if you work harder? What will happen if you didn’t work harder? What won’t happen if you worked harder? What won’t happen if you don’t work harder?