Since the very beginning, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) has been synonymous with Personal Change Work, and as part of that, you may also have heard about NLP Meta Model, and its applications, and would be curious to know what is NLP Meta Model. Time and again, people have borrowed the elixirs of different colors from the ornamented golden casket of NLP and sprinkled its mist around to bring about the required effects. Eventually, they have changed their unwanted beliefs, habits, and behaviors, unequivocally taken charge of the situation, and experienced exceptional change. A vast majority of them even got rid of their enduring fears, phobias, and painful memories with these assuaging gratifying sprays. What’s fascinating is that in many cases, these phenomenal changes took place in the same amount of time it will take you to read about them (Read Meta-Model exercise).
In contrast, it has also been incomprehensible for some people. It is difficult for few people to digest the fact that such changes are really possible. It is over their head, and they stand skeptic asking – can something like this even happen? Are these changes there to stay? Of course yes! They have and they will! Nonetheless, to convince anyone of the legendary accounts of NLP is neither the purpose of this article nor our intent at the moment because nobody can experience the sweetness of sugar just by smelling it! Unless you taste it, you won’t know it.
For generations now, NLP Practitioners and NLP coaches have been remolding people’s fears into confidence, despair into desires, hesitation into a decision, and worrisome broodings into action-oriented efforts. They have had done all of this just by asking some powerful relevant set of questions and without even leveraging any advanced level NLP techniques. Yes. Indeed!
Thorough understanding of a person’s language patterns and the artful use of the right language is all that is needed to create success in the majority of the cases. In the world of NLP, these powerful set of celebrity questions are popularly known as the NLP Meta Model Challenges or the NLP Meta Model Responses.
Those who are aware what is NLP, will know that the NLP Meta Model offers a range of detailed linguistic patterns to help you understand your own language at a deeper level and as well as to help you understand another person better. It provides means of overcoming ambiguity by exploring the deep-seated structures of communication. It seeks to get to the internal ‘re-presented’ experience behind a person’s words. It levels the playing field which had been rendered rough by the pugmarks of deletions, distortions, and generalizations.
When people speak, they do not always give a complete description of the thoughts behind their words. And in the flow of communication, the listener usually fills in the missing details using his/her beliefs, values, attitude, memories, etc. Thus, people speak their version of reality and listen on the basis of their understanding of reality. Here’s an example to explain this:- Husband returned from work and said to his wife “I am very tired of life. My day was a disaster, and I want to leave early morning” In this case, unless wife clarifies, she won’t know the exact message her husband specifically communicated. She may assume anything considering she is not aware why the day was a disaster, and in what way the husband was tired ~ tired of her, tired at work, tired due to traffic, and leaving early morning, where exactly?. Unless she speaks a Meta Model response, she won’t get clarity of thoughts.
Practically, it is not feasible for anyone to give a complete description of all their thoughts while communicating. Try doing so, and you will never finish speaking!
Seasoned listeners have a habit of asking questions to confirm their understanding and thus avoid gaps using NLP Meta Model questions. Successful coaches, counselors, managers, parents, therapists, etc. usually ask questions for effective communication. They leverage the power of questions to develop an understanding of the preferred internal re-presentation system of the person. They then keep the ball rolling in the same preferred re-presentation system using the relevant sensory words, phrases, and metaphors for a high impact conversation. NLP Practitioners and NLP Coaches, however, take one step further than that.
NLPers believe that people operate directly from their perceptions of the world. Your reality is thus your subjective experience of events and happenings. How you make sense and how you structure it in your brain determines and controls your responses. Your limiting thinking, restraining emoting, unhelpful responding, etc. none will change unless your internal map of the world changes. Effective personal change involves a change in your process of thinking (programming) at these structural levels.
When NLP Practitioners and NLP Coaches ask NLP Meta Model questions, they do it with the additional intent of gaining an insight into how the client has structured his/her subjective experience. They stretch limits and push boundaries by challenging perceptions, seeking specific information, and asking the otherwise overlooked details. They do their utmost with Meta Model responses to flashlight at the client’s mental channels clogged with silt, stones, and pebbles. Advertently, they then grab the heavy deposits and throw them out of the client’s mind. In the upshot of this AHAAA moment, the client drifts from the mental state of being at-effect to being at-cause; from feeling helpless to feeling at ease and in charge.
The built-in idea is to help people (and yourself) develop flexibility in thinking, and not yielding to the habitual responses until perception has stood the flame of acid tests. Unlike a litmus paper test, there may or may not be a definitive answer. But the fragrance of heightened awareness is definitely guaranteed in the air when you spray the elixir of NLP Meta Model.
It doesn’t matter whether or not you are a coach yet. Everybody benefits in day to day life by practicing NLP Meta Model responses.
The more you practice, the more skillful you become in the art of communication. If you want to be the Best NLP Trainer in India, then Meta Model is the model you must focus on. If you can Meta Model brilliantly, then you can showcase your talent during free classes, demos, training classes, and during coaching session.
Want to add another arrow in your quiver? Read further here (Meta-Model Examples)
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